Malice Towards None

Flipping the calendar from August to September brings a mixture of emotions. We say goodbye to family reunions and road trips, and hello to back-to-school sales and football season. Extra hours of sunlight after dinner, fading into fall colors and pumpkin spice everything.

This year marks two momentous September anniversaries that many Americans will observe with sadness: the 25th anniversary of 9/11 and the first anniversary of Charlie Kirk’s assassination. Charlie’s death doesn’t hold the same weight in scale or significance as the terrorist attack on the Twin Towers and the Pentagon, but it is, at least among conservatives, an “I remember where I was when I heard the news” moment.

As an avid consumer of conservative online content, primarily through YouTube podcasters, the months following Charlie Kirk’s assassination have been unsettling, to say the least. I cried along with my favorite podcasters, trying to absorb what we wish we could unsee. They, of course, were mourning not just the loss of a colleague and fellow conservative, but a friend. I was mourning the loss of a respected leader and the glorious feeling of hope and positivity that had predominated the Republican Party after President Trump’s inauguration.

But then came his memorial service, and an atmosphere of such profound unity and power. It was as if Charlie’s death had unleashed the Spirit in a way that was almost tangible. Testimonies started popping up across social media from folks who had previously judged Charlie a racist transphobe who were now actually watching his messages and doing a 180 in their opinions of him, many reconnecting with family members they had cut off over political disagreements. We saw the explosive growth of TPUSA chapters across high schools and college campuses. And most importantly, we saw renewed spiritual interest and what appeared to be genuine spiritual revival among the young.

They say tragedies come in threes. None of us saw Charlie’s gruesome and shockingly public death coming. Nor the unexpected sense of heartbroken determination that followed. And then a third wave that no one could have predicted. No, not the wave of vile celebrations of his death, the callous mockery and glorification of the violence that not only ended a man’s life, but also the hopes for his future accomplishments, not to mention the psychological impact of those who witnessed it, both in person and online. To say nothing of the devastation to his family and friends. Anyone who has given more than a few minutes of their time to politics in the last decade could have predicted that. Disgusting? Yes. Surprising? No.

No, the wave I refer to is the seismic wave of division that has deluged the conservative podcastsphere in the wake of Charlie’s death. The turf war over his legacy has spiraled into deep rifts in opinion, not just over “What would Charlie say” about this issue or that, but also over the party’s future direction and leadership. We have seen it destroy previously strong alliances among conservative commentators, leaving many of us on the sidelines, scratching our heads over who to believe or align with.

I do not want to weigh in on accusations regarding conspiracies and larger plots surrounding Charlie’s death. But I do want to offer my perspective on navigating the hellscape of online conservative discourse. Perhaps it will help you avoid being a casualty of this current conflict.

One could say this conflict isn’t a war of good guys and bad, but rather a trial, a courtroom drama in which both sides are making their case. And in this trial, we should focus not on the  motives of either party but on the evidence they present. While I think there are some very bad actors taking advantage of this dispute, I see this less as a criminal trial of good guys and bad and more of a civil trial with points to be made on both sides. As we, the jurors of conservative votes, weigh the arguments, I think it is critical to judge not by inferred motives but by facts.

It is easy to point the finger and say, “So and so is all about the clicks,” and on the other side, “So and so is being controlled by the Jews.” But these statements are much harder to back up with anything resembling evidence. And why should I care about the motives behind someone’s commentary if what they are saying is true and vice versa if what they are arguing for is false or outright evil?

Take Megyn Kelly. I have been a near-fanatic follower of Megyn’s for years. She has been a constant workday companion, keeping me up to date on all things political and newsy. I didn’t always agree with her stances, but that was one of the things I liked about listening to her, especially because she often featured guests who didn’t share her perspective, which I appreciated.

Many have criticized her silence regarding Candace Owens’ accusations, specifically those directed at Erika Kirk. But I believed her espoused devotion to Charlie and admiration of his widow to be sincere. I granted her the benefit of the doubt despite other podcasters that I follow calling her out. I even granted her the benefit of the doubt when her stance on Israel began to change. While I think there is an undeniable connection between criticism of the nation and hatred of Jews, I don’t believe that everyone who is guilty of the former is guilty of the latter. I remember well Megyn’s on-air response to 10/7 and the days that followed. She was clearly disgusted and grieved. I had no evidence of her antisemitism, and therefore I refrained from imputing motives for her change in position. I strongly disagree with her on the war in Iran and Israel’s influence over U.S. foreign policy, but I don’t believe it is worthy of personal criticism.

What is clear, however, is that many do feel this way. I have watched as a number of her regular guests have simply stopped appearing on her show. This has left her with guests less likely to challenge her opinions, significantly diminishing the level of discourse and providing balance to her perspective. While the quality of her show isn’t their responsibility to bear, this splintering of discourse into ever smaller silos reveals a significant weakness in independent media. In an environment lacking equal collaboration, the host is surrounded by employees who, at best, admire and trust their boss’s perspective and, at worst, merely seek to echo the opinions of the person on whom their jobs depend. And this is true of the audience as well. The host, depending on views, likes, and subscription rates, will be sorely tempted to bend, if not break, in the direction in which the wind is blowing.

As we approach this macabre anniversary, let us honor Charlie’s legacy by engaging in public discourse with both our minds and our hearts. Let us allow reason and evidence to dictate our opinions, but let our hearts guide our tone and grant the benefit of the doubt to the motives of those with whom we disagree. As another victim of political assassination, Abraham Lincoln, once charged the nation, let us move forward “with malice toward none, with charity to all.” In this way, we can defeat our enemies, both domestic and foreign, and most importantly, the enemy that lurks within each of our hearts, seeking to devour us all.

The Best and Worst of 2023

It has been a very exciting year, full of transitions and making new friends. In January Jim commenced his work as a Templeton Fellow at Hillsdale College. Amy continued her role as an agent with State Farm Insurance until she changed roles in November, beginning her work in the office of Gifts and Estate Planning at Hillsdale College. So now we are officially a double-barreled Hillsdale couple! The kids continue to develop into interesting young adults, and our family conversations about art, culture, philosophy, theology, and politics are more stimulating and enriching than ever. As usual, we are closing out the year with summary remarks about good and bad stuff related to film, music, books, sports, food, and family.

Film Experiences

Jim: Continuing the trend of recent years, we have seen very few films at the theater and have focused mostly on watching films at home via Netflix and Amazon Prime. My favorite of the year was JFK: One Day in America, which has rekindled my life-long interest in the Kennedy assassination. The documentary focuses on JFK’s fateful trip to Dallas in November 1963 and features interviews with the last surviving eyewitnesses, including secret service agents Clint Hill and Paul Landis. (In his interview for the documentary, Landis’ revelation regarding the so-called “magic bullet” has enlivened the perpetual debate over whether Oswald acted alone in the assassination.) One film we did see at a theater, Napoleon, was a disappointment. Despite Ridley Scott’s spectacular cinematography and a typically strong performance by Joaquin Phoenix in the titular role, the film ultimately falls flat for lack of a compelling theme. The film recounts major events in the life of Napoleon, but a straight documentary can do this much. Probably our family favorite series of the year was Only Murders in the Building, starring Martin Short, Steve Martin, and Selena Gomez. The third season was every bit as clever, thrilling, and waggish as the first two. Kudos to the creators of this smartly crafted series.

Amy: I agree with Jim’s assessment of OMITB and Napoleon whole-heartedly. Please don’t expect any artsy, groundbreaking recommendations from me this year. Perhaps it was moving again and looking for some reassuring old friends via my viewing activity but whatever the reason, I delved deep into my anglophile ways, re-watching some familiar favorites and discovering some new ones. To The Manor Born and Keeping Up Appearances were recommended by a friend as witty, delightful escapism and lived up entirely to that recommendation. As Time Goes By was a favorite of Jim’s mom which I shamelessly binged watched and felt as if she was sitting beside me laughing along at the incomparable Madame Judi Dench. This helped to rinse the bad taste left in my mouth by the sixth, and blessed, final season of The Crown. Maggie and I love a good Hallmark genre holiday flicks and were pleasantly surprised by EXMas which departed from the hyper-stereotypical, shallow character development we have come to enjoy so much while still embracing all the characteristics of the genre (e.g., estranged boy and girl who are obviously meant for one another, quirky parents, tensions at work, an odd devotion to Christmas which is taken for granted by all, etc.). On the doc side of things, Convicting a Murderer and Who Killed Jill Dando? were shocking and well-executed. We ended the year by going to the movies with my dad to see The Boys in the Boat. As a lover of the book, I came in with low expectations which were quickly forgotten. Well-cast and well-written, this movie took me back to the good old days when movies just told a great story and left agendas to the politicians.

Food and Music

Amy’s Best Food Experiences of the Year: Without a doubt it was a meal experienced this week with all the kids. While vacationing in Florida, we went to Peg Leg Pete’s in Pensacola and were initially shocked at the 1½-2 hour wait time. Thanks to some cheerleading from Bailey and Andrew, we decided to stick it out and had a night to be remembered. We killed time playing games in the bar, ate some of the best seafood we have had in a while, and soaked up the joy of being together. We also had some truly wonderful meals with new friends in Michigan as well as spending time with “old” friends from Indiana.

Jim’s Best Musical Experiences of the Year: After doing a deep dive into the music of the Talking Heads, my respect for the musical genius of David Byrne has risen to new levels. Now in his 70s, Byrne’s innovative musical explorations continue unabated and have even taken him onto the Broadway stage with his award-winning American Utopia. Also, my son Bailey recently turned me on to the sparse, atmospheric music of the Icelander artist Soley, specifically her 2011 debut album We Sink. From there I dug into her other work, which is mesmerizing and, by turns, haunted and sweetly endearing. Oh, and my love for the music of Sia has grown even stronger. What I described as a “guilty pleasure” two years ago is now unashamed. So good! Check out her albums We are Born and 1000 Forms of Fear, and prepare to be addicted.

Sports 

Jim’s Favorite Sports Moments of the Year: Watching Andrew emerge as a star soccer and basketball player on the Hillsdale Academy teams has been a lot of fun. He’s still deciding whether to play soccer or basketball at the college level, though he’s leaning toward soccer. And watching Sam play on the Lansing semi-pro soccer team last summer was a blast, as was watching his rise as captain and goalkeeper on the Taylor University soccer team. He had another season of spectacular moments in goal this year, culminating in his being selected as national NAIA defensive player of the week near the end of the season. He’s a human highlight reel! But it does make for tense viewing. It is hard to be the parent of a goalkeeper. You want to see your kid involved in significant game action, but for the keeper to get such action there must be a defensive breakdown or an otherwise serious scoring threat. Agonizing!

Amy’s Favorite Sports Moments of the Year: Watching Andrew, newly arrived in Michigan via Bolivia, bonding with teammates on the basketball court was definitely a highlight as was cheering on Sam’s Lansing Robins this summer. I was quite proud of perfecting my “tailgate charcuterie” which I am sure contributed to much of their success.

Jim’s Most Disappointing Sports Moments of the Year: My Detroit Lions just missing the NFL playoffs last January was disappointing, but this year they are heading back to the postseason, hosting a playoff game for the first time in 30 years. The Atlanta Braves being bounced in the second round of the National League playoffs, again, by the Philadelphia Phillies who, again, were a decidedly inferior team throughout the six-month regular season, only to benefit from a playoff system that handicaps the top seeds by forcing a four-day layoff which serves to undermine the rhythm of hitters and pitchers. When will the MLB wake up and correct this? Given that it makes more money for the league, perhaps never.

Amy’s Most Painful Sports Moment of the Year: Taylor’s defeat in PK’s (following a couple of controversial calls by the refs, I might add) after tying through triple overtime against Spring Arbor in the Crossroads Conference tournament was almost more than I could bear. So proud of the team’s effort and love seeing Sam continue to grow and mature as a player. A close second would be suggesting to Jim that a great pre-Thanksgiving Lions game activity would be to “clean up” the “unneeded” cable lines cluttering up the outside of our house only to realize I forgot to mention that one was in fact our much needed WiFi line. Several agonizing hours and a panicked drive to first Wal-Mart and then Meijer later, WiFi was restored, only to have the Lions lose to the Packers.

Good Reads

Jim: Because of the transition into my new role at Hillsdale College, I have been consumed with philosophical research, especially work on the problem of evil and the metaphysical idealism of George Berkeley. My article “The Premortalist Free Will Defense” was recently published in the International Journal for Philosophy of Religion. Also, I have completed two pieces on the problem of evil which I expect to appear in peer-reviewed scholarly journals in the next year or so. I am nearing completion of an article on Berkeley, public objects, and common sense, which I’ll be submitting somewhere soon. So as far as my “good reads” for the year, I would count most of the scholarly literature I consumed when working on these articles as “good reads,” including those featuring fallacious arguments and misbegotten philosophical claims that I have been more than happy to refute! ☺

Amy: Several books I read this year fall into the strange category of books I can’t say I enjoyed but also couldn’t stop thinking about after: I Will Die in a Foreign Land by Kalani Pickhart, The Parasites by Daphne du Maurier, A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf and The Road to Wigan Pier by George Orwell. I devoured The Running Grave by Robert Galbraith aka J.K. Rowling and was given plenty to chew on by The Rise of the New Puritans by Noah Rothman and Michael Shellenberger’s Apocalypse Never and San Fransicko. Honorable mentions are Settle for More by Megyn Kelly and The Twist of a Knife by Anthony Horowitz. I was also terribly proud of Jim for his piece on “Self-Governance and Self-Worship” in the American Reformer and this piece at the Federalist.

Best 2023 Family Memories

Jim: A highlight for me was doing house renovations with Bailey last summer. Our “new” house in Jonesville, Michigan was built in 1846—when Nietzsche was in diapers! It has great character and “bones,” as they say, but it needed a lot of work. Doing the renovations has been a family adventure, and the joy these improvements bring Amy and the kids is thrilling for me.

Amy: Jim’s seemingly magical transformation of our house has been a sight to behold. So proud of the herculean effort he and Bailey have put in. We’ve had several special times with all four kids: Christmas in July (to make up for Andrew’s and Bailey’s absence last Christmas), walks in the woods, kayaking with Sam and Bailey on Baw Beese Lake, so much laughing over rounds Jim’s ingenious new game Make ‘Em Laugh and our time in Florida.

New Year’s Resolutions

Amy: Taking my health more seriously, cultivating my Hillsdale College fun facts database and reawakening my love of reading (over watching).

Jim:  Completing renovations on our “new” (178-year-old) house in Jonesville.

Happy 2024 everyone!

Risky Business

As Christmas approaches, this mother’s heart is humming with anticipation. All four of our kids, Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, will be spending the holiday break with us this year. As they grow up and out (of the house that is), I am learning not to take being all together for granted. Gone are the days of me hiding in the kitchen pantry, eating chocolate and trying to get five minutes to myself. Most of the time I’m lucky to have more than one of them sitting at the dinner table and last Christmas we suffered an emigration mix up getting Andrew home from his semester in Bolivia and ended up with only half the crew celebrating with us.

Earlier this week, I was listening to Megyn Kelly discussing the case of Kate Cox. If you haven’t heard of the case, Cox is suing the state of Texas for the right to abort her baby. Texas’ recently enacted laws prohibit abortion once a fetal heartbeat is detected with some exceptions. Despite the fact that Cox’s baby has been diagnosed with Trisomy-18 and is highly unlikely to survive to full-term or the birthing process, the lower Texas courts have denied Cox’s application for an exception to be made. Kelly expressed her belief that forcing a woman to carry a dying baby was a form of “torture” and condemned the Texas law as too extreme, a position I strongly disagree with but not, perhaps, for the reasons you might think.

Surely no one who hears this story can fail to sympathize with Cox, although extremists on the left would have a hard time selling their sympathy to me as genuine. Many, though not all, abortion advocates have moved well past the argument for “legal, safe, and rare” and into the space of gleeful celebration at the death of a helpless unborn child. Those on the opposite end of the spectrum should most definitely offer their condolences to Cox and her family; if you are pro-life, you certainly should seek to comfort those who face such a dreadful diagnosis. But for myself, I believe that in seeking an abortion Kate Cox is not escaping “torture,” as Kelly put it, but rather inflicting further wounds to her psyche. She is already the mother of a dying child and having an abortion will not erase that fact. Being the direct cause of her child’s death, rather than allowing her child’s life to unfold, in my opinion, will only add to her grief. The risk of heartbreak is an inherent part of motherhood and a medical procedure cannot remove this from the job description.

We, as mothers, are all the mothers of dying children and our journey through parenthood is a tortuous one. We bring them into this world knowing that one day, hopefully many decades from now, they will leave it. Not only do they face certain death, we also know there will be many pains and traumas along that path. We hold our breath from the moment we feel that first stirring deep inside our wombs, through their first tottering steps and watch with anxiousness as they are off to school and have their first disappointments and heartbreaks and failures. As their worlds widen, our fears only increase. As they grow, so too do the dangers they face.

But so too do their joys. And through them, our joys increase as well. As they say, with great risk comes great reward. There is no joy in mothering without the sorrow; to love is to venture heartbreak. There is no escaping the tortures of motherhood, whether it be carrying a baby you know is destined to die early or carrying a baby you know will face untold perils as he or she grows. Just as in the throes of labor there is no escaping the pain of birth; all you can do as a mother is grit your teeth and know you are giving birth to something worth the pain.

Years ago in my early days of parenthood, I was complaining about not getting a moment to myself, and a friend wisely shared an insight that pierced my heart. He looked down at one of my toddlers and said “If I had known the last time I held my son or daughter was the last time, I would have held them five minutes longer.” We never know when that last time will be so we should cherish each time as if it is the last.

From the news reports I have read, Kate Cox won’t get that last time, or a first. She has pursued an abortion in another state. For that loss, I grieve for her. I’m sure that this Christmas will be a challenging and sad time for her, to say the least. I will certainly pray for her to experience repentance, forgiveness and healing during the season which celebrates not only Jesus but also his mother Mary. Not only Mary in the stable but also Mary at the temple, dedicating her baby to God and being told by Simeon, according to Luke 2, that He would do great things but at the cost of a sword piercing, not just His side, but also her soul. I think of Michelangelo’s Pieta. Mary holding her son for just five minutes more; the pain of His death and her sorrow bring us who believe the greatest of joys.