Ah, ya gotta love inspirational self-help websites.  Here’s a doozy I stumbled upon recently.  It features one helpful life tip for each letter of the alphabet, including the maxims to “Love yourself first and most” and “Just do it,” which made me wonder if I was reading Ayn Rand or a Nike commercial.  But then again, neither of them could achieve the level of kitsch displayed on that website.

Anyway, this inspired me to devise my own self-help ABC’s, so here you go.

Avoid lists of all kinds.

Beware of the truth.

Cling to those who don’t like you.

Don’t try too hard.

Exaggerate your problems.

Feel queasy.

Go for the bronze.

Have a good time being idle.

Ignore those who like you.

Just smell it.

Keep up the loud noise.

Lie around a lot.

Make small problems bigger.

Never look on the bright side.

Obliterate hope.

Panic before you think.

Quit when the going gets tough.

Remember to vomit.

Sweat profusely.

Tell others your faults.

Underestimate your potential.

Veer to one side.

Wish for the unavoidable.

Xpect no words that begin with “X”.

Yearn for the old days.

Zzzzzzz……sleep whenever you can.

5 Responses to “Spiegel’s Self-Help ABCs”

  1. Kat Forbes


    I love this list! Is it a bad thing that I can accomplish almost all these things on a daily basis? …if left to my own sinfully natural ways I probably would…
    thanks for the laugh.

  2. Dan Newcomb


    Brilliant! If you would please, publish this list, sell a million copies. Hilarious.d


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