Category: Family

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reThinking the American Dream

By Amy Spiegel

I must confess that lately America’s economic woes have got be feeling blue. It isn’t merely the cost of living going through the roof that has me worried, though that doesn’t exactly give me a case of the warm fuzzies. It’s when I ponder the economic situation my kids will face that keeps me up at night.

As a parent, you wish so many things for your children. I pray that they will be strong in their faith and make wise choices as well as have good health, loyal friends, and a faithful and loving spouse. I also wish them financial stability. The idea of my kids not being able to find a job after college is such a distressing thought, and I promise it has nothing (okay, little) to do with the accompanying idea of them living in our basement.

I think we are allowed to fear for the future of our offspring, but I have been trying to conform my thoughts (and fears) to the higher standard to which we are called as believers. What I am wishing for my children is not a comfort that we are guaranteed. God’s blessing in my children’s lives is not automatically accompanied with a hefty paycheck and retirement benefits.

Several years ago, I read the Lord of the Rings series and cried like a baby as Frodo fled the forces of evil in order to accomplish his given task. I cried because I am a total geek and become way to emotionally invested in fictional characters. But I also cried because of what Frodo represents. I remember thinking, “He represents the souls of my children, so small and vulnerable. And he is being hunted down by a darkness which seems indestructible.” The thought of those Dark Riders galloping after my babies seemed more than I could bear.

But now I am beginning to see that perhaps I have mislabeled the Dark Riders seeking to destroy future generations. It isn’t economic recession or lack of financial stability that should cause me the greatest concern. Rather it is moral recession and lack of spiritual stability which ought to leave me in tears. And perhaps the current state of things will present my children with a greater clarity, a deeper sense of the eternal than is present during times of great prosperity.

The Dark Riders of greed and comfort have become clearer to me and I see now that perhaps the American Dream I have wished for is in reality a potential nightmare. While I can’t say I am at the point of hoping for depression, I am at the point of seeing hope in the depression. Of seeing opportunities for greater good, for deepening and refining that is not possible under brighter circumstances.

I am rethinking my version of the American dream, basement living and all.

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Blinded by the Light

By Amy Spiegel

Last Sunday, as we sang the closing hymn, “Immortal, Invisible, God only Wise”, I was struck by the deep truth of one line. “All laud we would render, O help us to see: ’Tis only the splendor of light hideth Thee.” In other, less eloquent, words, we are often blind to God’s presence not because He isn’t there but because there is so much of Him to see.

I have needed some help seeing lately. I am, for the time being, closing a major chapter in my life. The kids are all—yes all—heading off to school next year leaving me a bit at a loss. The four people have consumed most of my waking hours for over a decade are moving on. I am so excited for them, though I will confess to a small part of me that can’t wait for them to realize that school outside of the home isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Every time they complained about this assignment or that, inwardly I chuckled at the harsh realities of early morning wake up calls and homework assignments that I knew were waiting for them.

As much as I have reveled in this knowledge, I now find myself facing my own realities, harsh and otherwise. Just as my kids have idealized recess and school lunches, I fear I have been guilty of idealizing “alone time.” All those afternoons of hauling four, often unwilling, companions through the grocery store left me dreaming of what it would be like to stroll unaccompanied through the aisles. All those interrupted phone calls and exasperatedly uttered “just-a-minute”s left me dreaming of speaking whole sentences uninhibited.

But now that the time is fast approaching when all my dreams will be made reality, I find myself panicking a bit with regard to what happens next. For more than a decade now, my time has had such defined structure and purpose. And that’s where the seeing comes in.

I am feeling pretty blind right now, in the dark fumbling towards the unknown. What last Sunday’s hymn reminded me of was that while I may not be able to see God’s hand guiding me, it isn’t because they aren’t there. It isn’t even because He is invisible, despite the title of the song. It is actually because He is too visible. He is so present that I take his presence for granted. It is a forest-for-the-trees kind of thing.

It is God’s hand that woke me up this morning, that made these thoughts possible. He is in the air conditioning I am currently enjoying, the breaths I am currently breathing, the sun that is shining, the world that is spinning. It isn’t His refusal to make Himself known that blinds me but rather my refusal to look for Him.

So this is my plan as I walk into the unplanned months ahead: to look for His splendor and praise Him for it, whatever I see.

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The Best and Worst of 2012

By Jim Spiegel

It’s been another exciting year, and we want to thank you all for reading and, if applicable, posting comments on our blog.  Once again, we would like to close out the year with some summary remarks about good and bad stuff related to film, music, books, politics, and family.

Best Film Experiences:

  • Jim:  This year I was blown away by two films whose plots involved the silent film era:  Hugo and The Artist.  The former, directed by Martin Scorsese, is a powerfully redemptive story that is a visual and emotional delight.  Even given his impressive filmography, I regard Hugo as one of Scorsese’s best.  And The Artist is a true original at a time when Hollywood needed a breath of fresh air.
  • Amy: What have I watched this year? Obviously nothing that great or I would be able to remember. I did love the experience of watching Lincoln, but I told Jim afterward, I don’t know if I loved it because it was a great movie or because it was such an amazing performance by Daniel Day Lewis.  He is so good, it’s hard to evaluate the film as a whole.  From a pure experience standpoint, gasping in shock surprise with several girlfriends and a theater full of shocked fellow watchers in Twilight: Breaking Dawn was a highlight.

Worst Film Experiences:

  • Jim:  I didn’t see any really bad films this year, but Hunger Games was a definite disappointment.  I read the book, and then watched the film, and they were equally disappointing.  The problem: none of the characters made any reference to God, prayer, the afterlife, etc.  Given that death and physical trauma figure into the story so prominently, this is highly unrealistic and a significant flaw in the narrative.
  • Amy: This year has seen a lot of disappointments for me, more in the shows that I watch than in films.  Frankly I expect most movies to be bad but several favorites on the small screen turned into just another agenda driven lecture punctuated by commercialist drivel. I guess one of the worst would be Snow White and the Huntsman but was I really expecting that one to be good or did I just want to get out of the house?  Hmm.

Best and Worst Musical Experiences of the Year:

  • Jim:  The new Dylan album, Tempest, was the highlight of the year for me.  These days, every new Dylan album, especially given the fact that the man is so well along in years, is a treat.  And the fact that his music is as good as ever is really astounding.  Unprecedented, in fact.  What other popular artist is still writing and recording great songs into his/her 70s?  Another highlight was the Black Keys concert in Cincy that I attended last March.  Those guys are finally getting the recognition they deserve.  But will their popularity undermine their creativity from here forward?  Time will tell.
  • Amy:  I don’t really do musical experiences.  Concerts give me vertigo and my iPod is mostly full of stuff for the kids.  But I did enjoy discovering The Tallest Man on Earth, The Temper Trap, Grace Potter and The Nocturnals, and Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.

Jim’s Favorite Sports Moments of the Year:  Seeing the Detroit Tigers win the American League Championship was definitely a thrill.  But like 2006, they swept their way there (defeating those darn Yankees 4-0), while the Giants had to go the distance to defeat the Cardinals in the NLCS.  So, just like 2006, the Tigers were hurt by the long layoff and got swept in the World Series.  Hopefully, next year, the Tigers can win the ALCS in a more protracted series so they’ll be well-tuned for the World Series.

Jim’s Most Disappointing Sports Moments of the Year:  Watching the Giants sweep the Tigers hurt, but the whole “Bounty-gate” debacle concerning the New Orleans Saints hurt even worse.  Ugh.

Amy’s Best Eating Experience of the Year:  Eating curried goat with my hubby in the Bahamas.  I seriously would have licked the plate had no one been watching.

Amy’s Worst Eating Experience of the Year: I made the mistake of purchasing heavily scented yet temptingly discounted dishwasher detergent a few months back and paid dearly for my frugality when it “tainted” all of our dishes.  No matter what we ate, all I tasted was synthetic lavender.  Yuck.

Satisfying Reads of the Year:

  • Jim:  In the scholarly category, it’s Plantinga’s Where the Conflict Really Lies.  As is typical for Plantinga, it is lucid and well-argued—the best treatment of science and religion I’ve ever read.  Also, this year I resolved to read three classics every year, and this year they were Virgil’s Aeneid, George Eliot’s Silas Marner, and Eusebius’s History of the Church (which I am still reading).  Three very different books, but each rich with insight and deserving of the moniker “classic.”  I also greatly enjoyed reading another superb apologetics book by Paul Copan—When God Goes to Starbucks.  He tackles some really challenging questions, such as regarding homosexuality and the Old Testament “holy wars,” and his responses are consistently insightful and sensitive.
  • Amy:  This has been a good book reading year for me. If I am going for mind-expanding, worldview-challenging it would be The Fountainhead.  I realize she would think I am a mindless religious zombie but I still love Ayn Rand.  I read a lot of history this year, my favorite being Destiny of the Republic about the assassination of James Garfield.  For sheer pleasure, Roald Dahl’s Boy and Going Solo were pure delight.

Political High Point of the Year:  Jim:  Still waiting for one.  Amy:  Ditto.

Political Low Point of the Year:  The presidential election.  Nuff said.

Best 2011 Memories of Our Kids:

  • Bailey: “There is no better feeling than picking up a heavy whipped cream can.”
  • Sam: Through tears and cries of pain over a splinter “You promise it’s just a thin layer of tissue?”
  • Maggie: “Mom, do you have a town inside your head where you go when you are bored?”
  • Andrew as he hands us his front tooth after riding the bummer cars: “That was the most awkward time I ever lost a tooth.”  And another good one from Andrew, when explaining that he would rather listen to Rascal Flats than my gospel choice: “I don’t like this one, no offense to God.”

Most Satisfying Shared Experiences of the Year:

  • Jim:  Our time in the Bahamas last January with the Taylor softball team.
  • Amy:  Redoing our upstairs bathroom.

New Year’s Resolutions:

  • Jim:  To take my wife out on even more dates and to avoid sugary carbonated soft drinks.
  • Amy: To limit the number of times I begin sentences with the phrase “I am so sick and tired…” and to take time every day to remember what an awesome guy I married.

Happy 2013 everyone!

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Fourteen Facts About My Wife

By Jim Spiegel

A few days ago Amy and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary.  It was March 21, 1998 when we tied the knot in a humble little church in Norris, Tennessee.  At the time, I had a pretty good idea that I had made a good choice.  Fourteen years, and four wonderful kids, later I’m amazed at how lucky I am to have such a great wife who has so many talents and is so good for me in so many ways.  Although the number 14 isn’t a standard milestone, as a football fan, I consider it a very significant milestone, as are 7, 21, 28, etc.  So to celebrate this point in our marriage, I will share fourteen facts about my wife, in no particularly significant order:

1. Home Cookin’ — Amy is professional caliber cook with a knack for turning ordinary dishes into powerful culinary aesthetic experiences.  This is probably due in part to the fact that she’s a super-taster, which can be a burden for her sometimes.  But she handles her hypersensitivity well.

2. Home Schoolin’ — When it comes to our kids’ education, we’ve been rather eclectic, but homeschooling has always been a part of the learning buffet at the Spiegel household.  Amy has excelled at it, somehow staying organized and innovative despite the chaos that a home with four kids brings.

3. Bookeater — Amy can read a novel like most people devour a bag of chips—at one sitting and with a tasty beverage in hand.  Early in our marriage I tried to keep up with her book-a-week pace but quickly realized this was futile.

4. Great Writing Stylist — Here is another category where I know I can’t compete with my wife, as I’m sure this blog amply demonstrates.

5. Humorist — Christopher Hitchens once notoriously observed that, generally speaking, women aren’t funny.  Quite independently of Hitchens, Amy has often made the same observation.  Ironically, she is a clear exception to this rule.  On my list of funniest women ever, I rank my wife third (behind Lucille Ball and Carol Burnett).

6. Fierce Traditionalist — Amy is no feminist in the current sense of the term, but she is a strong “womanist,” you might say.  Like Sidney Callahan and some other critics of contemporary feminism, Amy affirms the old dictum that “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.”  Before we married, I was as skeptical as anyone about that.  Fourteen years later I’m a true believer.

7. Fantastic Mom — Speaking of motherhood, my wife is good as they get.  Perhaps I should devote an entire post to this point, including quotes from the kids, but that could get a bit lengthy.

8. Superb Film Critic — The “Snapshots” posts that Amy does for this blog don’t do justice to the depth of insight she has when it comes to cinema.  This is one of two areas where I hate to debate her, because I usually lose.

9. Politically Astute — The other topic where I usually lose debates with Amy is politics.  But I try to resist the temptation to avoid debating her, because to lose is to win when it comes to debate (since it means discovering truth).  At least that’s what I tell myself.

10. Theologically Astute — Amy will balk at this when she reads it, but its true.  On many issues, she arrives instantly and intuitively where it has taken some of the greatest theologians years of contemplation to land.

11. Computer Tech Savvy — This was perhaps the single most surprising discovery for me in our marriage.  Amy has a gift for working with computers and fixing various bugs in our PC at home.  (Since I now use a Mac, I have no more computer problems—seriously.  But when I used to have a PC, she was always ready with a fix for any problem that I had.)

12. Lover of All Things Tennessee — My wife is an unrelenting apologist for the Volunteer State.  After all these years of spending lots of time there, now I’m just as devoted and dogmatic in calling Tennessee the greatest state in the country.

13. Loyal Friend — Amy has many great friends, because she is a great friend.  Her loyalty is one of her most outstanding virtues.

14. Loyal Wife — Being married to someone so intensely loyal is a blessing, of course, but its also humbling.  I’m quite sure I don’t deserve such stalwart commitment from her, but she always makes me feel like I do!

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Respecting the Difficulty of Parenting

By Jim Spiegel

Lately, Amy and I have been pondering the difficulty of parenting, as well as the way the difficulty is often regarded.  It is interesting to hear some people’s comments about those who express their struggles in raising numerous children.  Often, after hearing a parent lament a stressful period with their kids, we’ve heard someone say, “Well, that’s the result of their choice,” presumably to remind us all that they brought the difficulty upon ourselves by having so many kids.  Well, true, but why point out the obvious?  To diminish their accomplishments and suggest that they really don’t deserve so much credit after all?

People don’t make such remarks in other contexts, even when the struggle is largely self-serving.  When a runner reports how hard it was to run a marathon, does anyone say, “Well, that was their choice”?  Or if a mountain climber says he really struggled to make it to the summit of Mt. Everest, would anyone say, “He brought that difficulty upon himself”?  Of course not.  We recognize that, although such challenges are the consequence of personal choices, those who meet them deserve credit nonetheless.  So why are some people loathe to acknowledge the difficulty of parenting numerous children, especially when this is incomparably more valuable than even the most impressive athletic feat?  Why are some people inclined to diminish the significance of dedicated parenting?  I don’t know.

But one thing I do know is that I’m thankful for the hard work of good parents.  Chosen or not, and regardless of the number, raising children is a profound challenge.  And when parents do it well, their kids aren’t the only ones that benefit.  We all benefit.

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The Best and Worst of 2011

By Jim Spiegel

2011 was another exciting year, and we want to thank you all again for reading and, if applicable, posting comments on our blog.  Here are our annual summary remarks about good and bad stuff related to film, music, books, politics, and family.

Best Film Experiences:

  • Jim:  Tree of Life was easily my pick for the year’s best film.  Emotionally gripping and theologically profound, with brilliant directing by Terrence Malick and superb acting all around—even by the child actors.  See my October 3 post for a full review.  But I also loved Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows.  Riveting action and great intellectual stimulation.  Can’t say that about too many films.
  • Amy: Not my favorite year for movies but Winter’s Bone was definitely a bright spot or albeit a rather dark, bright spot. It has haunted me. I wanted to choose the latest version of Jane Eyre but couldn’t forgive the poor handling of the last 30 seconds.

Worst Film Experiences:

  • Jim:  Batman: The Dark Knight.  Yep, I’m a few years late on this one.  I planned to avoid it altogether, but finally gave in at the request of a friend.  It was just as bad as I feared.  Yes, Heath Ledger’s performance was excellent.  But the screenplay is dull, and the overarching theme of the basic goodness of human beings is, well, just false.  Am I taking it too seriously?  Not as seriously as many hardcore Batman fans, I’m afraid.
  • Amy: I have to agree with Jim on this one. It was dull, so very dull. But at least it was super, super long. I would also throw in Thor and Black Swan, both featuring Natalie Portman. Still trying to figure out if she can really act or not.

Best and Worst Musical Experiences of the Year:

  • Jim:  The Black Keys’ El Camino is an instant classic.  Just when you thought these guys couldn’t get any better (after last year’s album, Brothers), they blow us away with this effort, produced by Danger Mouse.  It’s still soul-tinged blues rock, but bit more polished and radio ready.  Can’t wait to see these guys live in Cincy on March 2.  As for the worst, it’s easily Rebecca Black’s Friday.  Or does she win for “Most Nasal Vocal Performance of the Year”?  Gotta love the lyrics.  “We so excited!”
  • Amy: My musical experiences are much more low brow than Jim’s, though I wholeheartedly agree regarding The Black Keys. Mostly I listen to the stuff the kids are into (Party Rock Anthem and Uprising) and whatever will keep me moving on the treadmill. I have been rolling in the deep with Adele and no one can accuse her of being low brow. My worst experience involved creating the perfect Christmas playlist for the “Jingle Bell Jog” (a 5k held to benefit lighthouse trips) only to be stuck in front of the Taylor Women’s Cross Country singing “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.” I don’t know which was worse: not being able to hear Sufjan Stevens’ amazing version of “I Saw Three Ships” or the obvious fact that they were not winded at all.

Jim’s Favorite Sports Moments of the Year:  The Detroit Tigers winning the American League Central Division was definitely a thrill.  But, even as a non-Denver sports fan, following the Tim Tebow-led Broncos’ comebacks for much of the NFL season was pretty exciting, too.  Watching him scramble while trying to find an open receiver has been fun, but its been just as fun watching football pundits scramble to find ways to justify their hatred of the guy.

Jim’s Most Disappointing Sports Moments of the Year:  It was hard to watch the Texas Rangers dispatch the Tigers in the ALCS two months ago.  (After their World Series heartbreak, I bet they wished they’d been bounced earlier.)   Watching the Saints lose to the lowly Seahawks in the NFL playoffs last January was tough too.

Amy’s Best Eating Experience of the Year:  Oven-roasted tomato soup topped with a slice of French bread and cheddar cheese. It’s just a bubbling pot of love!

Amy’s Worst Eating Experience of the Year:  This would be a tie between two experiences, one which involved not eating. On the way to Jim’s mom’s house, we stopped at Subway for lunch. Faced with a long line and with Cracker Barrel gift cards burning a hole in our collective wallet, we hustled the kids back into the van. Faced with an even longer line, we hustled the now really hungry and annoyed kids back into the car. Lots of whining and a 45 minute car ride later, we met with an even longer line and gave up on the Barrel altogether. Ten minutes down the road, Chick-fil-A came to the rescue. The other experience was least dramatic and involved my forcing the fam to eat whole wheat oatmeal pancakes only to discover they weren’t exaggerating when they said they were “awful.” Sorry guys.

Satisfying Reads of the Year:

  • Jim:  In the scholarly category, I loved Roger Scruton’s Beauty, an insightful and elegant little book, aesthetically satisfying in a way the subject matter deserves.  Also, I enjoyed Craig Evans’ Fabricating Jesus.  It works as an introduction to Jesus studies and New Testament scholarship, as well as a powerful critique of many of the popular biblical skeptics (e.g., Bart Ehrman).  And as for general audience stuff, I appreciated Wesley Hill’s Washed and Waiting, a deeply personal reflection on living as a celibate homosexual.  I highly recommend this for anyone who struggles in this area.
  • Amy:  One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp has deeply inspired me as a believer and a writer. On the non-fiction front, Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand was amazing, especially given the author’s back story. I enjoyed Killing Lincoln and 1776 and for pure pleasure reading The Hunger Games was a great story if not perfectly executed.

Political High Point of the Year:  Jim: Were there any high points?  Amy: Yes, any time Chris Christie opened his mouth.

Political Low Points of the Year:  Anything having to do with the “Occupy” movement.  As if all the rapes, deaths, theft, and property destruction, weren’t enough, we still haven’t heard a coherent position statement from OWS folks, particularly regarding why they take their protests to “Wall Street” rather than Capitol Hill.  Come on, ya’ll.  And what’s the deal with those creepy masks?

Best 2011 Memories of Our Kids:

  • Our summer trip to the Indiana Dunes and then, via train, to Chicago (notwithstanding Andrew’s nausea at one point—happily we got him to a trash can before he “tossed his groceries”).
  • Going to the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 with Bailey.
  • Watching all our kids ride the “big” roller coasters at Dollywood.
  • Seeing Sam give his first public performance as a percussionist (on bongos).  He has so much rhythm, we’re wondering if he might have been accidentally switched with a Brazilian baby at the hospital nine years ago.

Most Satisfying Shared Experiences of the Year:

  • Jim:  Helping to edit Amy’s fantastic first book.  Can’t wait till May, honey-bunny!  (BTW, will you share some of the royalty money with me?)
  • Amy:  Redoing our upstairs bathroom. (BTW, yes but only if you promise not to spend it on anything practical.)

New Year’s Resolutions:

  • Jim:  To take my wife out on more dates and read more John Updike essays.
  • Amy: To have more in-house dates with my husband that don’t require a babysitter or me folding laundry.  And to read the entire New Testament, even the really convicting parts.

Happy 2012 everyone!

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Best Spiegel Kids’ Sayings of 2011

By Jim Spiegel

As every parent knows, children say the darnedest things.  So the last couple of years I’ve taken to writing down some of my kids’ choicest verbal morsels.  Here is an annotated list of the most memorable ones from the past year.

Andrew (5):

“Don’t give that to me.  I’m full-handed.” — Nothing profound or poetic here.  Just a funny spontaneous expression from our youngest.

“You can’t be nowhere or do nothing.”  — This was a genuine metaphysical epiphany for our little guy.  After making this general observation, he proceeded to give illustrations, concluding that no matter what the situation, you’re always someplace doing something.  Right on, little man.

Maggie (7):

“When I hear music I feel like I’m in a movie.”  — Perhaps no surprise, given that she’s our little drama princess.

“Sometimes I’m afraid of coffee.” — Interesting.  Good news and bad news, I suppose.

“I’m a good fart-holder.”  — Awesome, Maggie.  And for this, we bless you.

Sam (9):

“You need to brain up.”  — Sam’s way of saying “think harder” . . .  I think.

“My hair looks like a tornado went through a circus parade.”  — This was actually a good description of what his hair looked like that morning.

Bailey (12):

“Government is like a big fat man who won’t move or change his mind.”  — As I recall, Bailey uttered these exasperated words after Amy’s pleas to the Fairmount town council for an ordinance permitting chickens within the city limits had been denied.  We brought Bailey and Sam to that town council meeting in hopes that they would see how well local government works.  Sadly, they witnessed something more along the lines of Bailey’s simile.

“Dad, is God a perfectionist?” — This is just one of Bailey’s recent theological questions.  Um . . . let’s see . . . hmm . . . define your terms, son.

Okay, shhh . . . .  While she’s not looking, here are a couple of gems from Amy:

Amy (37): 

“I’m not in the mood for democracy today.” — Uttered on a family trip after I politely suggested that we vote as a family on where we should stop to eat.

“It doesn’t need to be a competition.  I just want to be first.” — I can’t recall the context.  This was one of Amy’s classic semi-intentional ironies.  She really should be a writer.

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Our Stories Within the Story

By Amy Spiegel

I can always count on Maggie, our precocious seven-year-old, to inspire me to think outside the box. She is not one to color inside the lines, either literally or metaphorically.  She and I spend several hours a day one-on-one homeschooling, and she never fails to amaze me with her limitless imagination. Her “When-I-grow-up…” list grows by the hour and recently she seems to have added “color commentator” to her list of career aspirations. Not color commentator for football, mind you, or any other spectator sport. Why give the play-by-play of something as meaningless as sports when you could provide commentary on your own life. While hammering out an email, I’ll hear, “…and then the girl picked up her pencil and began to carefully print Zs” or “Maggie really hoped her mom would bring her snack soon because she was so hungry.”

Being a lover of narrative, I appreciate this gift that my daughter seems to have in seeing her life as a story, one to be enjoyed and cherished, sometimes to be endured. It isn’t easy to see the thread of story that runs through all our lives running through your own life story. Too often, we are too close up to see the themes and lessons. This time of year, many of us are focused on the Christmas story. Two thousand years removed from the events that changed human history forever, it’s easy to identify the main characters, to see the plot unfolding and rushing to the climax of the cross and empty tomb. But what was it like for the characters themselves, who weren’t storybook figures, only living between the pages of a fairytale? These were men and women of flesh and blood, often lacking in perspective, too immersed in the events of today to foresee the God-sized plan of which they were a part. This is a man, traveling with his betrothed, unable to find shelter. This is a young woman giving birth for the first time in a cave meant for beasts of burden, not the King of Kings. One has to wonder how much of it they really understood. Certainly the angelic visitations and Holy Spirit-inspired prophecies helped. But think of all the promises we are given, of God’s provision and love, of our ultimate destiny. Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary, how often are we tempted to doubt? How often do we give way to despair? How often are we stuck in the cave unable to feel the light of resurrection?

So this season, as you sit and ponder the lights of the tree, the gifts exchanged, and the pile of dishes to be washed, don’t forget to look up. Remember that your life, too, is a story being told. You may not know where you are going, but there is a light leading the way.

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A Bumpy But Enjoyable Ride

By Amy Spiegel

Sometimes providence presents you with such an obvious image of some deeper reality, you have to sit up and take notice. This past weekend was one such occasion for Jim and me. We were spending a delightful day at the lake with friends, watching the kids swim and tube. Our friends asked if we, the hubby and I, wanted a turn tubing. I jumped at the chance and committed us both. Recently the kids have reached a level of independence that has allowed me to resume my place in the participants’ category, after years on the sidelines with the other breastfeeding, baby-growing, nap-supervising onlookers. Maybe this explains my disproportionate enthusiasm for clinging to a glorified life raft while being dragged around behind a fast-moving boat. I was giddy with freedom. It quickly became apparent that my husband and I, while being compatible in more ways than I can count, have very different approaches when it comes to tubing. I was all for throwing caution to the wind, jumping the wake and wildly swinging ourselves from one side to the other. He was for digging in, sticking to the middle and just hanging on. Despite our difference in technique, we had a great time but I think each of us was a bit frustrated with the other, feeling as though our partner in life was working against rather than with us. Jim says I am overanalyzing, but isn’t that what he has me around for? So here are some marital truisms I picked up along our bump ride. Maybe you can relate to or learn from our experience.

Number One: Neither one of you is going to be entirely comfortable. Know this from the get go and make the best of it. In marriage, as in tubing, you are two people occupying one space. Someone’s elbow will occasionally be in the other’s face. That’s just the way the tube bounces. Don’t look at the other person and assume that they have more freedoms or privileges than you. Don’t accuse them of unjustly taking advantage of you. This usually results in them pointing out all the ways you unjustly take advantage of them. Unless you are being pushed off the raft altogether, give your spouse the benefit of the doubt, hold on and try to keep from knocking the other person’s teeth out.

Number Two: Decide upon a generally agreed upon philosophy or approach before you are in motion. Once the momentum of marriage is going, there is little time for adjustment. Of course, you can shift places and do things on the fly but this generally involves a great deal more effort once you are underway than it does before things get rolling. While Jim and I did not do this on the lake, we did do this early on in our relationship. These guiding principles have evolved through the years but we still refer back to them to make sure we are living up to our commitment to one another.

Number Three: Someone will get tired and fall off the raft. Don’t panic. Just hold on and the boat will come around to pick them up again. In our relationship, and in tubing, this is generally me. I don’t jump ship in the sense of running away or breaking my commitment. I just get tired and emotional, go off the deep end (the nautical metaphors are endless!) and need time to come back to the surface. Jim has learned over the years to just let me go, stay calm and everything will be okay. No need for both of us plunge head first into Crazytown. His serenity highlights my irrationality and brings me back around sooner than if he went in after me.

Number Four: Remember who is really in charge. The fact that I can lean hard and move us toward the wake or that Jim can drag his feet deep into the surf and keep us toward the middle makes it feel like we are co-captains but in reality it is the person driving the boat who is in control. He can whip us around or keep things nice and easy but in the end we are at His mercy and not each other’s. I know I can trust Jim and I hope he feels the same way about me, but in the end I know that I don’t have to cling to him for my ultimate safety. It makes things a lot less scary in marriage and in life. With this thought in mind, in good times or in bad, in the smooth waters or in the rough, I can sit back and enjoy the ride.

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We’re All Missionaries Now, Baby

By Amy Spiegel

We’re back from our Christmas Break trip, and I am feeling like my soul could use a morality shower. Not having TV at home, it is always a bit of a shock to the system to see what is pouring into people’s homes for hours each day. It used to be that I worried when the boys watched the Disney Channel, hating the casually crude language not to mention the constant focus on romance and the aesthetically anemic content. Flipping through the channels now, I worry about the foul language, nudity and progressivist social agenda.

Television is not, of course, a mirror, exactly representing our society’s moral image. I hope, at least, that the values portrayed in sitcoms and “reality” shows are not those of my neighbors and friends. However, with the average American watching almost seven hours a day, it can’t help but have a severe impact. It’s less a looking glass and more of a prophetic picture of where we are headed.

Jim and I have always strived to be thoughtful regarding our family’s interactions with pop culture. I wouldn’t say we are entirely conservative which, for me, brings to mind a suspension of the arts in general. I suspect that some of the things we have allowed our kids to read and listen to might disturb James Dobson. (Just to clarify, I am talking Harry Potter and The Killers). We generally evaluate things from an aesthetic as well as a moral viewpoint. Therefore, our children are a strange mix of conservative (they are forbidden to watch SpongeBob because I am certain it makes you stupid) and adventurous (they love Josh Ritter). I have always seen us as occasionally stepping out of the mainstream of pop culture while remaining part of the general flow. That is, until now.

Over the last few weeks, when confronted with what passes for entertainment in our society today, I can’t see how any American Christian family could see themselves as anything else but serving in the mission field of a lost and pagan land. Maybe it is a symptom of the modern evangelical view of missions that we have ever considered ourselves anything but missionaries. How might our perspective on everyday life change if we started thinking of ourselves as strangers in a strange land rather than as natives?

1) If you were living in a foreign country, chances are you wouldn’t understand the native tongue and therefore wouldn’t waste your time watching television. News Bulletin: You either don’t or shouldn’t speak the language of a lot of TV today. Turn it off and read a book. Not only will you be guarding your soul, you will be doing something good for your mind. Just make sure you read a good book. If you do watch TV, be sure not to leave your brain behind while you zone out on the couch. There is no neutral when it comes to what you consume. I am a fan of a few shows, but I try to treat the experience as a cross-cultural experiment rather than pure entertainment.

2) If you moved halfway across the world to show people the love of Jesus and tell them about the Bible, you probably wouldn’t hide in your house all the time or avoid talking about spiritual things once you got there. I confess I am a total coward when it comes to talking about God with nonbelievers. But it’s our job whether we send out support letters or not, so we’d better stop thinking about how comfortable it makes us feel and take it seriously.

3) Remember that disciple-making starts at home. If we are impacted by the immoral tsunami that washes across our shore each day, just think about what it is doing to our kids. One of the easiest ways to do this is just by making them aware of their alien status and teaching them to see the difference between the water and dry land. And if there is no avoiding the water, we can at least teach them to swim.